Vacation: Travel and First Day

I did not have Twitter on vacation, but I did have a cute little notepad that I totally filled up with notes. It will take me a few entries to get through the whole week, but we had a great time! Do not fret with anticipatory worry. Nothing horrible happened and I recommend cruising to anyone who likes my type of vacation: non-camping ones full of opportunities for food, alcohol, reading, and people-watching.

We almost started out quite badly by FORGETTING OUR PASSPORTS OMG. Can you even imagine how I would be kicking myself? Sheesh. I had made copies to put in our suitcases and the passports were still hidden on our printer/scanner/copier. I remembered before we left the house, so there was no frantic turning around or race to the airport, thank the Good Lord.

E and C were relatively unfazed by the idea of us going away for a week, but L was tearful and dramatic. She was draped all over us like a clinging monkey for as long as possible. Don't feel too bad for her, though, because when they picked us up at the airport, my MIL said things like, "Yesterday was supposed to be a shower day, but we were too busy making cookies!"

A has a long hate-hate relationship with people who recline their airplane seats. When you're tall and the person in front of you reclines, it's incredibly uncomfortable. I can barely move my legs and my knees are crushed. But we had NO RECLINERS and no one in the middle seat with us! And then we had a long layover in Atlanta and I ate mozzarella sticks and wine for dinner. We were officially on vacation!

I would have liked some Xanax for the flight, but Rob Lowe's autobiography proved incredibly engaging and I was only mildly anxious during the take-offs and landings. It's not at all my style, but Swistle recommended it so whole-heartedly and even A was trying to read over my shoulder and normally he sticks to snooty Literature. Thumbs up!

We stayed near the airport in Miami since our flight came in around 12:30 am. We ate the free breakfast the next morning and hopped on the hotel's shuttle to the port. It was incredibly easy to get on board - you can tell they have really streamlined the process - but they checked our passports and boarding pass a bajillion times. Our carry-on bags with our (allowed) one bottle of wine per person were searched and, even when I KNOW I haven't done anything wrong, being searched feels icky. They determined that our wine was wine and I saw a few people getting their regular bottles of liquor confiscated.

The first sight when we boarded the ship was a bar, of course.

A cruise ship, we determined, is essentially mini-Las Vegas on a boat: bars and restaurants and fabulous people watching. The difference is that my feet didn't hurt at the end of the day and all the Vegas was interspersed with Jamaica and Grand Cayman.

I was determined to take the stairs all the time and completely forsake the elevators. We were mainly going between the 2nd floor (where our cabin was) to the 3rd/4th/5th floors (where the dining rooms, shops, and clubs were) all the way up to the 9th floor (where the buffet and pool were), so I figured we'd get some mild activity if we stuck to the stairs. I'm proud to say that no matter how tipsy I was, I did! Okay, I DID have to take the elevator once when I took a ship tour and the entire group took the elevator. I didn't want to be THAT person.

We found our cabin and it was much bigger than I thought it would be. I was SO HAPPY to see our luggage outside because that meant that our rum runners had made it through security! I did not smuggle a lot on - I divided a pint of vodka between two runners - and I hoped that might increase our chances of being overlooked, or someone noticing but not caring because I wasn't trying to smuggle on a huge bottle. Also I don't drink THAT much even on vacation. I had to smuggle some of it back off the ship because I discovered the martini bar.

This is as you open the door. There's a hallway with three closets on the right and the bathroom on the left.

The bathroom shower is off the the right, behind the door. Here's the sign above the toilet:

This led to a lot of jokes along the lines of, "I'm gonna go throw some bulky items into the toilet!" I love discovering new euphemisms.

 Mid-afternoon we were called for the muster drill - where we learn where we are to go in case of an emergency. We made a lot of mustard jokes, like, "Oh! I hope they have dijon!" because we are geeks. There is a reason that muster rhymes with cluster. Holy hell. Imagine a thousand people forced to stand shoulder to shoulder in rows six deep. We filed onto the deck, lined up, and A whispered to me, "And then they shot them all!" We learned how to put our life jackets on and that we were assured a seat in a escape pod if abandoning ship became necessary. 

There had been a wedding on board first thing and then there appeared to be a minor problem as only some of the wedding party was staying for the cruise and the cruise line needed to get the non-paying members off the ship so we could leave. They rounded up the attempted stowaways eventually and we were off. We went up to the top of the ship and I got my first Drink of the Day. This one I got in a souvenir glass and then subsequent days (I tried the featured DotD every day) I blessed the wisdom of the cruise critic message boards and ordered it in a regular (cheaper) glass.

We watched the beautiful beach of Miami leave us and marveled about how tons of people waved at us. I mean, cruise ships must leave this port daily, but cars and pedestrians and bicyclists were all waving to us. It was sweet. 

Those cyclists beat us out of port. We were moving slowly.

Here we are! It was bright and we are squinty.

This one guy kept flashing his belly to us. Did he want us to flash boobage? Really? I couldn't figure it out. A speculates that he is simply letting off some steam after working on a barge all day.

One of the first activities that interested me was the martini tasting. I'm so glad we did it because I discovered a spicy chipotle martini. I know it sounds totally gross, but it was AMAZING and I had one every night and two on the last night. NO REGRETS. We got to know the two bartenders at that bar and by the third night, they were asking if I wanted "The Usual."

We also stopped at the sushi bar. I am not a sushi connoisseur, but A has had it a bunch and likes it. I don't really like the seaweed stuff or pieces that were chocked full of raw salmon, but there was a rice square with a shrimp on it that I loved. And I liked most of it okay, but not enough to rave. A, on the other hand, happily got a plate of sushi every night. I did, too, but only because it was different each night. I hoped that there would be another shrimp piece, but alas. It was not to be.

 

We went to the late seating for dinner and waited nervously for our seatmates. I HATE forced social interaction and how horribly awkward to be seated with only one other couple! If it was a larger group, I think it'd be easier to fly under the radar, but if there are only four of us, there is a lot of pressure to keep up the conversation. Every person needs to do his/her part. It seems exhausting and I wasn't looking forward to it.

We spent the next fifteen minutes flinching whenever anyone walked purposely toward us, but (SPOILER ALERT) our seatmates never showed. Maybe they cornered the maitre d' earlier and requested a private table or, more likely, maybe they DID show up, took one look at us, and walked back out. We spent the first three nights worried that they would show and then relaxed for the last few dinners.

 The food was very good, although you could have fed me grilled cheese all week and as long as I wasn't making it, I would be happy. The menu had a category for Things You've Always Wanted To Try or something like that, so that night I tried the escargot. When I emailed that news to E and L, they were not impressed. Here, I have copied and pasted L's response:

SNALS!!!!!!!!!!!! 
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

WWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!WHATWERE YOU 
THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!L!

We went to the pleasantly cheesy welcome show put on by the cruise director and the ship dancers. He was pretty funny and he used the audience participants well. The ship dancers . . . well, let's just say they were trying their best. Then we walked around for a bit, but I was exhausted and we crashed. 

OKAY. The other days shouldn't be quite so long because large chunks of it will be "I read" or "I slept in." I do have to head back to work this weekend, but I am trying to get it all written out asap.

Comments

[Sarah in Ottawa]

Woo hoo! I'm so glad to hear that you had fun. We are huge fans of cruising (heading off on a 12 nighter from NYC on Nov. 6th), so am glad to hear how much you enjoyed it. I look forward to reading the rest of the stories.

[Christine]

L has a good head on her shoulders.

I'm looking forward to reading about the rest of the trip. Was it crowded? I always think of cruises as crowded. Drinks would help with that, though.

[Swistle]

I am reading these reports AVIDLY, EVERY SINGLE WORD, because this is the kind of vacation that I don't even KNOW if I want to daydream about taking one day or not! That is, I THINK that I DO---but then I think about all the sorts of downsides you're mentioning (fear of tablemates, sneaky hidden souvenir glass costs) and I wonder if I maybe DON'T. And then I fret about not knowing what the cabin will look like, and not knowing how to smuggle booze on board.

I love the look of your cabin!

[Chris]

You are making me want to go on another cruise and it hasn't even been a year since my last one! Can't wait to hear your thoughts on Cayman and Jamaica.

Most likely your tablemates ate in their cabin or at the buffet or were too wasted to get ready for dinner. Yay for a private table!!!

[Jody]

Welcome back! You are making me think, "mmmmm, CRUISE." (You look GREAT. I am ALSO thinking, mmmm, DIET." Although actually, you have always looked great. NEVER MIND.)

[amy]

Great to hear you had a good time! I so want to do a cruise, Hubs and I swore we were going to go on one for our honeymoon. He still owes me (the cruise AND the honeymoon!).

[Liz S]

you just brought back my memory of our muster line when we took the kids on a 3 day cruise. There we were, Keegan was 4 and he kept saying really loud- we can't say shit, right? shit is a bad word so we say shoot. We can't say damn, cause that is bad too. Instead of damn we say darn. I just smiled and waved. I think he used hell too but didn't go any further with bad words. The lady next too was trying so hard not to laugh.