Advice

Today I am random.  I've started several posts in my head and gotten interrupted each time and then poof!  It's gone.  Luckily I had started making a list.

Caffeine makes such a huge difference in my mood.  Even though A let me sleep in on Saturday, I was so crabby until I got some caffeine in me.  I guess I'm officially an addict.

My breasts are like automatic timers.  C eats about every 3 hours throughout the day (and night, too, but she sometimes stretches it to 4, the sweet girl), and I feel the letdown reflex about 15-30 minutes before she eats.  It's kind of like a "Hey, your kid will be hungry soon!" reminder and I often have time to finish what I'm doing before C starts giving me hunger cues.  Of course, this doesn't work during the fun evening cluster feeds, but A is usually home then and picks up the slack.  (I found these pictures of early vs late hunger cues funny.)

I weighed C on our scale this weekend and almost threw up at MY weight number (how have I only lost 15 lbs when I GAVE BIRTH TO A TEN POUND BABY?!), but the point is that she weighs 12.2 lbs.  She'll be one month on Friday.

E and L have chosen their Halloween costumes.  E has been interested in skeletons ever since we read The Holes In Your Nose in which a skeleton plays pivotal role.  Immediately after bones were explained to her, she requested that I remove her skin so she could examine her own bones.  L spontaneously chose a brown bear (I tried to steer her toward the pirate that she originally requested, but no go) and we have noticed a bit of buyer's remorse on her part as evidenced by repeated requests to borrow E's costume.  A has told them that skeletons and bears dance to certain songs and that's cute to see in and of itself, but when you add dancing grandparents . . . well, it's overwhelming.

After the dancing grandparents, skeleton, and bear were done, A attempted to give C her first bottle.  He called me a while later (I was on my way home from the Moms of Twins garage sale and a trip to the grocery store) and asked if I was please almost home.  It turns out that not only does C not like the bottle, the bottle is offensive and makes her angry.  Very very angry.  Choking on her own rage angry.  So we're still working on that.  My first day back to work is December 7 so we've got some time.

I'm not sure what is better than picking up your crying baby and having her immediately stop crying and instead make these snuffly noises that mean, "Oh thank God, you're back!  I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again.  You'll make everything okay!"  It does an ego good.

The advice part (near the end of the post so you won't forget):

• We are still getting regular bedwetting in the middle of the night.  The other night, A woke up to find L standing next to the bed, hand on his arm, just waiting for him to wake up.  THANK GOODNESS it was him and not me because being woken up like that would have freaked me out.  Anyway, we tried pull-ups for a while, but they make E get tons of zits on her butt (how weird is that?).  We all want them to be able to go to the bathroom by themselves at night, so diapers are out.  I was thinking of buying some toddler-sized cloth diapers, but the thick ones that would contain the pee would keep them feeling dry and defeat the purpose of teaching them that being wet is uncomfortable and they need to wake up to pee.  The ones that are just slightly padded in the crotch wouldn't contain the pee and I'd still be washing sheets regularly.  Is there some parent trick I'm not aware of to solve this problem?  Or are we just stuck dealing with nighttime accidents for an indeterminate length of time?

                ETA: I checked with Moxie and there's a pretty cool store that deals with nighttime bedwetting.  The thing is, I'm not upset about it and I'm not looking to buy alarms or do anything major.  It's an inconvenience, that's all, and it's entirely possible that their bodies just aren't ready.   Or maybe they're only ready 4 out of 7 days of the week.

• How old were your kids when you stopped needing a stroller?  I am considering selling our double stroller and getting a single one.  The last time E and L needed a stroller was at Cedar Point.  I have racked my brain trying to think of anywhere we might go in the next year that requires a lot of walking and therefore a stroller, but can't come up with anything.  They'll be 4 in May and I don't see using the stroller at all next summer (for them.  Obviously C will need one).  Do you think that a Graco carseat fits into any other kind of stroller?  I'm trying to find a Graco one for convenience during these early months, but E and L were out of the bucket seats by 7 months and C entered this world already halfway to the 20 lb mark.  So I don't see the point of searching high and low for a Graco stroller when I'll only be using the bucket seat for a few months.

Comments

[MicheleS]

We got rid of our triplet stroller right before or right after the kids turned three. I can't remember exactly, but I have never missed it!!!

I don't think you can do anything to speed night time dryness. I think it just happens naturally. I have two that are dry 90 percent of the time and one that is never, never, never dry and Pull-ups gives her butt zits too. I've been putting diaper rash cream on her and they are gone. I wet the bed until I started kindergarten so I know that my bedwetter just may take longer and may even need intervetion when she's older, as bedwetting is genetic and runs in my family. They don't recommend intervention until 5 or 6 for true bedwetters, so we'll see.

[Bobbi]

I think, if the pullups were giving a skin reaction, I would stick with diapers of some sort at night. The wetness feeling thing isn't really an issue at night - you want them to learn to wake up BEFORE they pee...once it's happened, whether or not they notice is irrelevant, and if they don't, you get to sleep. They may be too young or sleep too hard to be there yet. My son is 6 and we still have an accident once a month or so - he's a very sound sleeper.

As far as the stroller, I'd ditch the double and get a wagon and a single stroller. The beauty of a wagon is they can get in and out at will, without so much PITA with the buckling...

[parodie]

In terms of nighttime training, what about a bedpad that would allow you to continue using padded underwear (or somesuch) but avoid the need to change and wash the sheets every night? I'm picturing something like a waterproof but fabric-topped pad that would just lie on top of the bed. That must exist somewhere...

From Linda:

That would be great IF we could get our kids' butts to stay in the same general area of the bed when they sleep. Sometimes they end up sideways or diagonal or on the floor.

[Jill]

Try saying to them at bedtime, "If you need to go potty, wake up and go potty."

Planting that into their subconscious may help. It did wonders around here.

[Tracy]

What worked for us was limiting her fluid intake later in the evening. That helped her stay dry during the night until she was able to recognize the signs at night. She is 3.5 now and we no longer have to limit her fluid intake after 7:00. But that is what helped us.

Like the wagon suggestion. We use that all the time for our twins and toddler.

[Kate]

"Try saying to them at bedtime, "If you need to go potty, wake up and go potty."

Planting that into their subconscious may help. It did wonders around here."

I did this, as well as physically waking my son up in the middle of the night to pee. He never really -woke- up to go, but he did wake up enough to realize what he was doing.

[shari]

I have 4 yr old twins and a 2 yr old... and we used the double stroller a grand total of 1 time this entire summer - it was for a big all-day trip to downtown Chicago w/a lot of walking. We had our 2 yr old in front, and the 4 yr olds took turns riding in the back once it was later in the day and they were tired of walking. We bought a cheapie single stroller for when we just have our 2 yr old out (which is rare)-- it's not an umbrella stroller, but not a "full blown" one either - I think it was about $30. It has harness straps and can reclined a bit (not flat though)-- so we've been using that since he was about 6 mos or so.

We used our wagon, and bought the "caboose" that fits a third child for our frequent trips to the zoo this summer. Other than that, my 4 yr olds have'nt used a stroller or wagon at all.

Hope that helps!

[Tracy]

Try the cloth "bedwetter" pants - you can find them that look similar to underwear. And they do feel wet if they go, but generally contains any problem.

second idea - get a second mattress protector for the bed. Double sheet/pad the bed - then you just pull off the top sheet and pad. More laundry, but instant dryness for sleep in the middle of the night.

they have HUGE bedpads - yes, they tend to come off the pads, but sometimes, they stay on it. worth a try on top of the sheet.

Don't do any of the alarm type stuff until they are MUCH older - like 9. They need to be self motivated to want that - otherwise it just wrecks their sleep. You have time for this to end - it's still developmental before age 6.

too much experience here on the bedtime stuff, can you tell?

[Tracy]

re the stroller. The only place I used a stroller a lot after age 3 or 4, was Disney world and there you rent the huge bicycle tire double stroller and pick up a new one at every park (and I rented it with a 5 and just turned 8 yr old! and was very happy I did).

I had a single stroller when I had a 3 yo and a baby. I never used a double stroller, because I just carried the baby if the 3 yo was tired, and if I was tired of carrying the baby, I made the 3 yo walk. By the time he turned 4 and I couldn't carry the baby a lot, it worked out just fine.

[Amy F]

Peter has weeks when he wets the bed more than once and when he does, then the next few nights, we half-wake him when we're going to bed, put him on a potty, he pees and goes back to bed without ever really waking. He always wakes up dry after that. That way, nobody has to get up when they don't want to and Peter can be dry and wear uderwear to bed.

[Linda]

First of all, 12.2lbs!! I'm so jealous. I just took Lachlan to the midwife on Friday (7 weeks old) and he was 8lbs 4oz. I kept my composure at the office and then had a breakdown at home with my husband because how can I be breastfeeding every two hours and he's not gaining!!!! Be thankful she's robust.
As for the nighttime thing, I don't think there is much you can do. Our 4 1/2 year old still is wet every night so he wears a diaper. Our peadiatrician said she's talk about solutions when he's 6, otherwise just let him be, he's a deep sleeper and he's not ready, despite our efforts. Further evidence, the 2 1/2 year old, told us he didn't need a diaper and wakes himself up and pees by himself at night. My experience I guess, is that they figure it out when they're ready.
And the stroller you probably won't use again- by next summer they'll be four and they'll tell you they're practically grown ups- don't you know.

[Laura K.]

WOW, what a big girl (C, not you)! Way to go, Mamma!

As for strollers, I have to admit that I still use one with a 4.5 year-old. It's mostly for places like the zoo, etc., where I know that at some point K may get all whiney, and right now she and M are NOT a good combo in the wagon (plus the fact that I hate pulling that thing for very long...hurts the elbow). I am definitely going to sell my double jogger in the Spring, and will most likely sell my double Aria, as well, unless I give it to someone.

For nighttime wetting, I'd try the diapers if the pullups are doing the bumpy butt thing, unless it really bothers the girls to wear diapers at night. You could also get them up to use the bathroom when you're up to feed C, but that just sounds kind of like a pain to me. ;)

[Julia]

No advice here, but I wanted to thank you for the good laugh I got from those hunger cue pictures!

[AnnD]

Stroller - I wouldn't get rid of the double stroller quite yet - have you gone grocery shopping with three kids yet??? It also helps when out for a days activity - the double stroller carries the crap of three little ones.

Nighttime - not what you want to hear, for me I refuse to have to get up in the night to change wet sheets when I am up with a 1 year old and a newborn so I keep my potty training son (Feb '04) in diaps until he was dry dry dry. We had one wet bed - and he is now out of diaps completely (and touch wood, no wet beds in several months). I value my sleep way too much to keep me sane. Tough choice.

[K]

I just sent you a separate email, but here is my 2 cents...

I have a plastic liner on the girls beds. It isn't perfect, but at least if they have an accident, the mattress isn't a mess.

I have the same "problem" with my newborn (2 weeks tomorrow!). The thing that I keep in my mind is that Carter's slogan - ONLY ONE YEAR. It's going to go so fast and this is my last time "here" (whatever here is).

[Jody]

If the bedwetting doesn't consistently abate after a week or two, the child isn't ready for night-time dryness yet, and no fancy diaper in the world will make a difference. You can chat with your pediatrician about the issue, but truly, if a few helpful hints and routines don't get you there with relatively little effort, there's just not that much you can do.

Elba gets those zits on her bottom, the rumor is that they're actually a sort of fungal growth and you should use generic lotrimin (chlortrimizole) as an anti-fungal to get rid of them. It works for us.

Good luck, I honestly can't remember when we stopped using the stroller. Around 3.5 I think....

[Anne Glamore]

We used the mattress pad also, and segued straight from diapers into undies, with no pullups in between, As the boys had been pulling off their diapers at night and walking around anyway, this just provided some clothing for their nightly roaming, during which they apparently peed in the potty, and we still don't know who figured that out.

[Jessica]

The only things that have worked for us regarding the bedwetting are limiting fluid intake (no drinks after 7pm for an 8:00/usually asleep closer to 8:30pm bedtime)and being religious about insisting that she go to the bathroom just before bed. Any deviation (like falling asleep on a car ride home) and we can pretty much count on a problem. I used an adult-sized pad inherited from my grandmother and found that it didn't help. M rolls around constantly and finds a way to get pee everywhere!

As for the double stroller, we walk a lot in our town and I still use ours at 4.5 for longer distance hikes. I am trying to wean her off of it though (we also have two singles), because I have noticed that lately she was asking for it on much shorter trips. Plus the two of them together in are getting HEAVY!

I have had a Combi single for 4.5 years and it took the Graco seat just fine even though it was not advertised as such (I tested at BRUS). It's 2007 equiveleant is http://www.amazon.com/Combi-Spoleto-Infant-Stroller-Plum/dp/B000LBGRHI/ref=pd_sbs_ba_4/102-5264909-2189751?ie=UTF8&qid=1191923425&sr=8-7.

That being said, my 9lb 10 oz baby grew out of his carrier at 4 months. M did at 5 months. Both of them got to be too long for it (our Graco only held babies up to 26 inches--I am not sure about newer ones) before they hit the weight mark, although B was very close on weight too when we switched. Also, I thought by about 4-5 months they wanted to be facing outward to see stuff in the stroller anyway. So if I had to do it all again, I would just get a snap-and-go for the first few months because we walk so much and then get a really good lightweight single for then on. As a second/leave in the car/take on trips stroller, I LOVE our Maclaren volo. It is super lightweight, it has a basket, sun shade, and handy carrying strap and the mesh is super-easy to clean if need-be.

[Erin]

I heartily second the Snap-N-Go... It was a lifesaver for us - lightweight, didn't take up much trunk space, adequate basket... We used that until our daughter was out of the Snug Ride and then got a Maclaren Quest. Best decision we made!

[JK]

I use a single stroller all the time still (girls aged 2, 3 and 5). I use the double stroller quite a bit still. The 3-year-old gets tired, or needs to be contained if she can't listen when we're out. Sometimes the 5-year-old is tired and needs to sit while the 3-year-old walks. (The 5-year-old gets particularly whiny when she's tired.) Sometimes I need the double because I need to go a lot FASTER than a child can walk! Last year, when they were 1, 2 and 4, if I could have gotten a triple stroller easily / cheaply, I totally would have.

[yasmara]

If you have a Once Upon a Child nearby, they often have used snap-and-go's. Since you can only use them for a short period of time they are a great item to look for gently used. We loved ours. When the baby was too big for the bucket car seat we switched to a Maclaren umbrella stroller.

[Jen W]

My 5 yr old girl is still in pullups. I'd try different kinds some will make my daughter break out also. My doc said some kids just aren't ready and as much as my daughter wants to she just can't hold it all night. I could wake her up and have her go when I go to bed, but is that really the way to go? Not for me. i'd rather her either get up herself to go or be able to go all night. I prefer the all night thing. Most kids shouldn't need to get up and go if their bodies are mature enough. Anyway, that is my 2 cents.

[liz s]

Have to agree on all the bedwetting advise. It happens when it happens. I had one of three that was a night wetter for a long time (I won't scare you with a number; plus he's a boy and they often take longer)

Really wanted to comment on the bottle thing. My baby wouldn't take a bottle. He liked his nursing too much. The first 3 weeks back at work were torture for my husband. He ended up bringing the baby up several times to eat (not possible with a night shift and 3 yr old twins) We started looking at getting a finger feeder but then I decided to get radical and throw out all the stuff I tell patients. I put him in a warm bath, got him relaxed and then I gave him a bottle. He drank the whole thing. From then on he would take one but only if he had to.

So my suggestion is to have someone give C a bottle once a week until you go back to work. I had only given K 2 or three bottles in 14 weeks. Reverse nipple confusion I guess.

[Erin]

Regarding the sheet-changing issue... Have you seen these?

Crib/Twin Waterproof Mattress Protector:
http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=449761&cmSource=CrossSell&relatedProductId=520757

It is a pad that fits all the way around the third of the mattress (kind of like a sleeve on a coffee cup) where kids most often wet. It goes over the bottom sheet, so you only have to change it when wet, not the sheets.

[Beth]

I second all the comments re: getting a Snap-n-Go (check Craig's List or resale shops -- we got ours for $20 gently used) and then the lightweight Maclaren Quest. A perfect combo for our big first baby who was out of the carseat by 4 months and still needed a stoller that could recline, etc. Working well for baby #2, too!