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April 16, 2007

Comments

JK

You'll figure it all out. Trust me, you won't have forgotten what you have to do with a baby. When we had our second, we kept wondering why we thought a baby was hard...?! The baby was so much easier to deal with than the 2.5 year old! Your 3 year olds (they'll be three by the time the baby shows up!) will be hard, but they should be pretty decent listeners by then.

It'll be rough the first couple of months (unless you get a great sleeper) but then it will all just sort itself out... The hardest part, I'm guessing, will be things you never imagined you should worry about. Not to give you something new to worry about, but there will probably be some jealousy on the part of the older ones. This is normal. I was not expecting that at all when I had my second. My first seemed so oblivious to everything, but, whew boy, did she notice the competition!

It'll be fun, crazy, but fun! I'm so thrilled for you and A and E and L.

Oh, and the 8:30 thing... somehow you'll manage. You always do. As I said, crazy, but fun.

JK

I just realized that my comment may have come across as a little, um, I can't find the right word, but it was meant to help make things seem less stressful, not to negate/ignore your worries. It will take some time, but it will go quickly and soon it'll be hard to believe you weren't always a family of 5 humans and 3 animals.... (8 is enough? Heh.)

Bobbi

As a mom of 4 (the youngest is 6 weeks) I can honestly say that this has been my biggest worry with each child after the first. But truly - it always works itself out. You have a rough start (hopefully A can take time off to help you get situated) and then everything falls into place somehow. Right now I am managing a 2nd grader, a kindergartener, a 20 month old and an infant. Is it crazy sometimes? Of course! But everything manages to work out ok. Some days are smoother than others. My house is trashed. But we get to the important stuff. And I manage to do it with no family living anywhere nearby. I have faith in you - from what I've read, you are WAY more organized than I am, so hold your breath, jump in, and try to believe that it will all work itself out.. :)

Good luck - I'll be crossing my fingers for you that you have a laid back good sleeper - that always helps!

Katie

I remember wondering the same before J2 was born. I remember seeing how big E really was and how helpful she could have been and was not given the chance. It all works itself out. If it did to then the population would have crashed a long time ago. Everyone goes through it and we are all here to help. I found nursing time the best to read stories.


K

Ditto! I had the exact worries when I had #2 (my oldest was 2.5 at the time) and now again with #3.

I think the best thing that we did when #2 arrived is have their dad home more. It was the only way I survived (and I am not saying it was pretty!).

I don't know how we will do the bedrooms with #3. Currently, I use videos to "ensure" my late afternoon rest (I know - bad mommy - but I need that time!!!)

Tracerhawk

The previous commenter's are right, your family will fall into a new routine pretty easily. The little one will sleep a lot in the beginning giving you time to do things with the girls.

As for the van, can you remove a seat from the middle row? When we had the twins, our oldest was not yet 2. We removed one of the middle seats from the middle row and put the twins together in the back so we could still get to the oldest. Once she reached a stage where we didn't need to reach her as often while driving, we moved her to the back. Maybe the girls would enjoy both being in the back row together? Especially if you pose it as Big Girls can sit in the back together and keep an eye on the new baby. Our oldest knows that she sits back there because she is a big girl. Might work.

Everyday Superhero

Oh, have I ever been there. My twins were 16 months (and not walking, sigh) when the next one was born (why didn't anyone tell me that breastfeeding twins was NOT a form of birth control?). Regardless, apart from being truly and deeply afraid that I wouldn't love this baby like I loved my Big Boys, my second greatest fear was the logistics of it all.

It comes together. I swear. It helps to have a really supportive spouse. The first 6 weeks or so (until the baby started sleeping through the night) were the hardest because I needed to be (semi)alert during the day, but was up at night.

Now, of course, I'm heading into a similar situation where my twins will be three this September, they're starting pre-school and the new(est) baby is due in August. How on earth am I going to get them to preschool twice a week? How am I going to get everyone into the building? I only have two hands!

I completely feel your worry! And, actually, this time around, I'm not at all concerned about loving baby boy #4.

Welcome to the How On Earth Am I Going To Do It club!

P.S. I feel the same way about the baby moving. Like he's already mine, and I am his!

Colleen

Don't you wish you could just turn off the worrying? It's like you can't even help it. How does one 'not worry'? I guess as long as we don't let ourselves be completely consumed with worrying, we can figure things out and enjoy this time with the children. I'm sure you'll do great. I mean, what if it were the reverse? You had a 3 year year old and then had twins? I imagine that would be much more challenging. E & L have each other and will become more and more independent.

Melody_NC

You are not the only one worrying about logistics. I have the same worries and I'm not even pregnant with #3 yet, just getting ready to start trying. I even posted a question to one of the parenting boards I frequent asking about fitting three in a vehicle as that's one of my biggest worries, silly I know. I got some great feedback (email me if you're interested) which helped alleviate some of my concerns. I'm also going to be very interested in how things go for you so I can plan accordingly if we're lucky enough to wind up with a #3. :)

One thing I do think gives you an advantage is that your girls as twins are used to sharing you and your attention. I would think a singleton would have a rougher time during the settling in period with a new baby as they're used to having mom/dad all to their self. E and L also have each other to entertain themselves while you're busy, although I can imagine they'll also be able to make more mischief as well while you're trying to breastfeed the babe so maybe that's the downside. ;)

Feeling the baby move was my favorite part of being pregnant. I'll never forget that sense of wonder, of thinking "Oh, hello sweetheart" every time I felt a roll or a kick.

Alina

I am worrying about these same things but do keep my faith in god but it is something that is on my mind and I will see how it is once the baby is here. You have two 3 yr olds and I have only 1 almost 4 yr old so it will probably be a bit easier for me.

Jody

Aw, I love this description of the baby moving!

I have no idea how you do any of that stuff, either. But I'm looking forward to hearing about how you manage it. (I'm also profoundly, deeply jealous that you get to try. Sigh.)

Jennifer

I'm curious how E and L feel about the baby in your belly. Do they ask you if it's a boy or girl? Do they talk much about it at all? When Autumn and Gabe were 2 I was pregnant with Matthew and they loved to put hotwheels cars on my tummy and watch as Matt moved and made the cars roll. It was much fun and very amusing to two 2 year olds. ;0)

jules

I had my third when my twin girls were 2 1/2. I worried so much about whether or not there was enough room in my heart for another baby. The girls just took up so much of my time and energy - I didn't think I had anything left to give another child. But, as soon as I saw his little face I fell in love all over again. And all the little details that I worried so much about worked themselves out. He was a much bigger baby from birth so he slept better (which was wonderful) and the girls really weren't as jealous of him as I feared they would be. Good luck!

Kate

The stuff about feeling the baby moving? You described it perfectly.

Kristen

I bet E and L will be a big help to you in many ways, but all your worries are natural. You'll figure it all out. You have such a level head about all this stuff and about being a mom in general - I've learned a lot from you! :-) But I'll pray that your worries are eased and that you just get to enjoy those baby movements more and more.

Abra Leah

As you know, Chloe and Bradley are only 15 months apart and I had NO clue how I was going to keep Chloe busy when I was nursing Bradley. So, we came up with the SURPRISE! box. A bonefide box of joy, let me tell you! We got a big ol' plastic rubbermaid box and filled it with new (or forgotten) toys, books, etc. Whenever I was nursing Bradley, Chloe could play with the treasures in said box, but not at any other time (to maintain the mystery). Every other week or so we would switch some things around to keep her interested. You'll probably have to use baby gates for containment, but that box worked wonders! :)

I'm glad you are enjoying those secret kicks. It's precious. :)

shari

just posting to echo the above comments - my twins were only 2 yrs old when #3 came along, and looking back (18 mos later!) the first few months were just a blur, but we got through it somehow. I didn't have a TON of jealously issues since I think the twins were already used to sharing attention, but we had a lot of problems w/them wanting to help...and at 2 yrs old, there wasn't much they could do. My twins thrived on routine, so I tried to stay consistent -- bedtime was hard for me because I was by myself w/all three most nights... but I solved that by letting the twins watch one show before bed (I know, bad mom - but it saved my sanity!) which gave me uninterrupted peaceful time putting #3 to bed.

As far as logistics, we got a minivan and put the twins in the back, and put the newborn in one of the captain's chairs in the second row. We removed the other captains chair in the second row (since we rarely have a need for it) and that made it super easy to access everyone for easy in/out since my twins couldn't yet buckle themselves in yet.

You'll find your way, believe me, and btw, even though a lot of it was a blur the first few months, I marveled at how easy it was to handle one newborn instead of two... I felt fortunate to have had twins first, then a singleton rather than the other way around. you can do it! :)

laura

I think all your concerns are more than valid ... it's a scary prospect. You probably felt scared when you were about to have twins - "How in the world will I feed/diaper/attend to/cuddle with two screaming babies at the same time?" But, alas, you did it. And you'll do it again!

laura

I think all your concerns are more than valid ... it's a scary prospect. You probably felt scared when you were about to have twins - "How in the world will I feed/diaper/attend to/cuddle with two screaming babies at the same time?" But, alas, you did it. And you'll do it again!

Linda

It'so true when you have your first baby/babies and your whole world changes and it's so overwhelming and then when you have your second/third it's like 'why did I think a newborn was so hard??'
You'll probably find the newborn a breeze- especially when you only have to nurse one babe instead of two. It never fails though, the older siblings seem to have their crisis' in the middle of feedings with the newborn. That surprise/ toybox that Abra Leah mentioned sounds like a great idea.

Adrienne

I started to comment a few days ago and deleted without posting, since what could I contribute without having even had one child? But I wanted to let you know that I really, really enjoyed reading this and hearing about what you're mulling over. It's so thoughtful and really interesting to ponder!

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