Indigo Girl

Auditions

Last year E and L made up a "dance" for the school talent show and didn't pass the audition process. I don't blame the judges - it was a performance only a mother could love and I . . . did not love it. This year, they created a skit with some friends. It is mildly clever, I suppose, and they have organized and rehearsed it all during recess. I was at school today volunteering and I witnessed their last rehearsal before the official auditions. Unsurprisingly, L called them all together by clapping her hands and shouting, "Okay! Let's get started!" 

I've spent the last few weeks listening (patiently, mostly) to her go over every aspect of the skit and her nervousness regarding the auditions. Then I spent this afternoon listening to her process the auditions and her nerves/excitement at being in front of a crowd and having them laugh and now the wait to see if she makes it and how long it's going to be and how nervous/excited she still is. Honestly, I hope that she continues to process everything externally with me because it will keep me in the loop, but at the same time I want to tell her to SHUT IT.

She was going over everything again at dinner and suddenly turned to E, "E! What are we going to do NEXT year for the talent show?" I burst out laughing and she continued, "We have to get started earlier next time. We'll need to get everyone together in April so we have more time to write our skit and practice." She gave me a knowing look as I continued to giggle and added pointedly, "I'm planning ahead, Mom." If this were Twitter, I would add the hashtag MiniMe. Bless her heart; I love her.

At the same time, E said once - directly before the auditions - that she was nervous and gave me a worried but excited thumbs up when I wished her luck. She told me a bit about the skit beforehand and . . . that's it. I think this is one of the most fun parts of having multiple kids. Number one for me is watching them interact with each other and A, but number two is seeing how they're alike and different in ways that are out of my control.

Oh, so C had a moment of sadness this afternoon of "I don't know who to play with!" tears and as I was hugging her, L said, "You could have another baby so she has a friend!" I laughed and said, gently, "OH HELL NO," but she persisted, "I would be nine when she was born! I hope it's a girl. I'll help you take care of her. What should we name her? Another sister would be so much fun! We have all the clothes we need!" 

We wrapped up the last Harry Potter book yesterday and after I finished weeping (I have wept every single night for the past few weeks - so much emotion at the end!), E and L both were a little lost and asking, "Wait. What happened next?" It is so hard to finish a book where you love the characters, isn't it? It's like a relationship break up or maybe a death. You are both going your separate ways. L is determined to read them all over again - she pulled out The Sorcerer's Stone this afternoon - and work her way through Harry Potter wikipedia. E started reading that cat warriors series that is apparently all the rage and I pulled out the second Penderwicks novel tonight for our family reading. 

Handprints

C brought home a laminated copy of the following (cheesy) poem, complete with her handprints on either side: 

My little handprints on the walls 
On the mirrors and in the halls 
I'll be grown some day 
And all those tiny handprints 
Will surely fade away 
So here's a special gift 
Just so you can recall 
Exactly how my hands looked 
When I was very small

E read it out loud and then for the rest of the weekend, whenever I would correct/chastise/reprimand her, she would give me puppy dog eyes and recite pointedly, "And all those tiny fingerprints will surely fade away."

I love that little smartass.

Ballet and More Knitting

We went to the spring break ballet that our city's junior ballet company put on. It's only 30 minutes and tickets are $5. They had activities before the show, so a ballerina helped C and L try on different costumes, we got to see and talk to some of the dancers, do an obstacle course, and participate in a trial ballet class. I know it's supposed to be about exposing my children to art and whatnot, but I spent most of the time wishing I had the back and butt muscles those dancers have. They are amazingly muscular, but in a pretty way, not bulky or big. 

I want to give a shout out to waiting with big kids. It's so much better than waiting with littles.

The other night I found E dancing in front of the mirror. She was singing Taylor Swift's song We Are Never Getting Back Together. I did not laugh, but instead showed her how to use a hairbrush as a microphone. I've found myself humming One Direction songs. I think we are officially entering the tween years. (I hate the word tween. I would love an alternative.)

I finished knitting my bag (using this pattern) and bought a matching piece of cloth to line it a long time ago, but this week I finally got around to asking Karen to help me finish. She has a sewing machine and experience whereas I would be sewing all needle-and-thread. She hemmed my cloth and then sewed it into the bag and sewed the bag together. Now I have a bag I made!

Next up: I'm going to finish my scarf (I'm on my 2nd skein of yarn and I am very tired of it) and then I'm going to find a simple bag pattern than involves knitting-in-the-round since most of the cute bags require it. I want it to be EASY. Wish me luck because as much as people rave about ravelry, they have patterns marked "Easy" (1 on a 1-10 scale) that involve a lot of complicated techniques. I find it quite discouraging. Twitter suggested a booga bag. I don't really like the feel of felted bags, but I understood most of that pattern. Reading ravelry patterns marked "easy" and not understanding half of what they tell me to do makes me want to give up. Maybe I should try something easier, but I LOVE bags and want to learn to knit them so desperately.

Here is my knitting question: is it better to get double-point needles and knit in the round that way or to get circular needles and learn the Magic Loop method? Or are there other options? Do you have to do both depending on your project? I am wondering how much money to invest. And if you have a bag pattern to recommend for a newbie, please do. Bonus points if it has simple and clear directions.

Spring Break!

As I got ready for work last week, A said to me, "L is sleeping on the couch." We assumed that she had moved because E had a terrible cough. We were ready to praise her problem solving skills that involved NOT waking us up, but it turns out she had no idea how she got there. This isn't the first time she's done a bit of sleepwalking, but it was her most constructive episode.

I bought Big Boggle a while ago and was waiting to bring it out at the right time. Spring break seemed perfect and L and I have played a million games of Boggle this week. I actually like it. Add it to Uno and Clue as a game I enjoy. E doesn't like to play but C plays with us. (We let her find 2-letter words and use phonetic spelling.)

We've been taking the dog for a lot of walks. I realized it would be a great way to spend some casual one-on-one time with the kids, but so far everyone wants to go on walks, so it's been a family thing. We discovered a nature center near our house (I've run by it a ton of times, but never explored) and the girls have been making forts and climbing trees while Lucy and I do laps around the nature center.

It was really nice this past weekend, so I got down everyone's bikes from where they were hanging in the garage. E and L have been deemed old/responsible enough to cross the street and ride around the big city block without an adult. We have to talk about what to do in certain situations, but so far so good. I don't worry about kidnapping; I worry that they're not going to see a car and someone will back over them as they leave their driveway. We have a set of walkie talkies that we use, but one of the best things about twins is that they can go together.

We made a rainbow cake for Easter:

It turned out well and tasted delicious. I also made this carrot salad and it was so good I only ate cake and carrot salad for dinner that night. (I subbed bleu cheese because we don't like feta and used dried basil. The recipe stresses waiting to dress the salad until it will be eaten, but I thought it tasted better that evening.)

We also dyed Easter eggs and made bird nest cookies: 

 I gave E and L the American Girl doll book about growing up and L and I had a nice discussion about eating disorders. I have loved all the stages since 18 months because of the verbal interaction, but almost 9yos are awesome when it comes to analysis and discussion. They're talking about similar issues in Girls on the Run. There's a lot of stuff about self-esteem and nutrition. 

A Date With C

I went out for lunch with C today. This doesn't feel as special as when I take E or L out separately. Not that she isn't great to hang out with, but we had several years together when E and L were in school, so I feel like she's gotten a lot of my attention. E and L have had to share from day 1. However, she managed to cut me off at the knees after lunch. Conversation:

Listening to the Pinkalicious CD in the car. Pinkalicious is a spoiled brat, but the music from the play is great. She has a younger brother who is basically ignored through the whole play because he has not turned pink from eating pink foods. Also, he seems like a pretty nice kid.

C: "They don't listen to Peter because he's the littlest."

Me [hemorrhaging onto the floor from the knife to my chest]: "Do you think we don't listen to you because you're the littlest?"

C, simply, like she's stating a fact, not whining or complaining: "Yes."

GAH. The thing is, I was the littlest and I felt the same way. So I am QUITE AWARE of her and try so hard to make sure I hear her thoughts, the ones that are not as mature or well thought out as her older sisters so they tend to get lost in the flow of family conversation. But it doesn't really matter what I do if her perception is that she is not heard. *sigh*

I did not flop onto the floor of the car, lamenting my incompetent parenting although I kind of wanted to. I did tell her that I want to listen to her and if she feels like I'm not, please say, "Mama, will you please listen to me?" or something similar. And I will redouble my efforts to hear her without her asking.

Other than that (and, frankly, that is one of the main reasons we've been trying to take the kids out for one-on-one time), we had a great time. We ate lunch at The Olive Garden (her choice) and got frozen yogurt afterward. We picked up a new family member and ran a couple errands because I cannot resist the urge to be efficient. It was fun and as I was giving her a bath later, she said, "I had a fun time on our date today!" 

P.S. Speaking of E, I used a bun maker on E and it turned out so cute! I think I'm finally get the hang of fancy hair. Not that I could do it on myself, of course.

Relaxing Day

All the girls are off from school today for parent-teacher conferences, so I brought them to the Y with me for my step class. E and L were the oldest kids in the kids area and were sad when I picked them up because they were in charge of groups of little kids for a letter building contest (I didn't understand either, but whatever). I waited for the contests to be done and then let them lift weights for a little while. 

We picked up this book at the library. I heard the author on NPR and I want to read it, but I'm also afraid of reading it because I think I won't be able to eat any food EVER AGAIN when I'm finished. 

I didn't feel like making an official lunch, so we ate fruit and yogurt parfaits for lunch and later made no-bake cookies to round out the meal. Never mind the two cups of sugar in those - oatmeal is a healthy food! Seriously, I like to have fun meals like this - L reminded me the other day about when I let them eat ice cream and fruit for dinner one hot summer night. File this under "Making Memories."

It was shower day (these older kids! They are getting so stinky so fast lately!), so everyone rotated through a bath. We usually do showers, but all three kids prefer a bath when we have time. I moved the coffee table and they spent a while alternating between playing Just Dance 4 and lounging on the floor in sleeping bags and reading. E and L's class earned a reading/pj day at school, so yesterday they wore pjs to school, brought their sleeping bags, and got to spend the whole afternoon reading. They wanted to recreate this at home.

It was all moving along happily until I came downstairs and found E almost asleep. Do you know what an unexpected nap will do to an 8yo? It's ugly. In my desperation, I turned on Netflix and introduced them to Power Rangers. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING EITHER. Anyway, they were transfixed. I'm not sure if this is better or worse than H2O. Who can tell me about iCarley? Is that an acceptable show? Maybe I can refocus them before it's too late.

I made roasted red pepper risotto and garlicky chicken thighs for dinner and we discussed cannibalism and the Donner party. (L offered the idea that cannibalism is tiered - eating a raw human being is grosser than eating a cooked human. Should I be worried?) Then we piled in the car and went to parent-teacher conferences. They were lovely and boring. Everyone is working hard. 

C knows all her kindergarten sight words. Her teacher was going through the first grade ones with her, but she apparently got tired, turned to Mrs. B, and suggested, "I think we should stop now." She also got marked down for not knowing her phone number. When I heard that, I turned to her and said, "C, what's my phone number?" and she rattled it off. Her only areas to work on are 1. don't talk when she's not supposed to be talking and 2. follow through to the end of a project. Those sort of seem like normal things for a kindergartener.

E and L are both at or above grade level and rocked the state standardized test. Their issue is THIRD GRADE GIRL DRAMA. Their teacher says it's all developmentally normal and nothing has been serious enough to call us about. This particular class isn't as bad as others, she says, but she sees cliques forming and drama happening. Ugh. 

Only Sometimes Overwhelmed

It was a wild and crazy Friday night as I watched hair videos on You Tube to get ideas for L's hair. I found out how to do that twisty braid-like thing and did E's hair like that. I followed this tutorial to do a bun for L and it turned out well even though I didn't have the cute flower hair clip to accessorize (mental note: buy a cute flower hair clip!). That girl in the video has the most beautiful hair. I did this updo this morning based on this tutorial, even accessorizing it with a bow we already had! I'm feeling quite successful for being such a non-hairstyle person my whole life. 

E and L started Girls on the Run this week and like it thus far. They run after school twice a week in preparation to run a 5K at the end of May.

C made this sign about herself and my SIL suggested that world peace could be achieved if everyone did this.

The children have made a cardboard house/rocket that Roland seems to think belongs to him.

I am having that overwhelmed I'LL NEVER GET EVERYTHING DONE feeling as I think about having a realtor come, look at our house, and make suggestions about getting our house in shape to put on the market (this year or next). Then I think about the regular day-to-day things of dinner and homework and laundry and I start to hyperventilate. Friday morning I was lolling about thinking, "Why bother? I'll never get everything done" but decided to do SOMETHING, so I:

• started the laundry
• ran 6 miles
• took down that Christmas decoration that I had forgotten about and brought it and next year's Christmas pjs that I had bought on sale in January to the basement.
• made three phone calls
• returned a library book
• meal planned, made a grocery list, and grocery shopped
• spent 15 minutes in the new Goodwill by the grocery store to see if its worth frequenting
• picked up the kids, got home thinking that I would have over an hour to get dinner ready and then realized that I had forgotten to pick up the cat medicine from the vet. Piled all the kids back into the car and drove to the vet. Got home, realized they had shortchanged me a lot of pills, called them, got it straightened out, and made plans to pick it up on my next day off (Tuesday). 
• Made everyone dinner and brought them all back to school with sleeping bags and pillows for a movie night (Hotel Transylvania) in the gym.

I find the days I work to be overwhelming and then I DON'T want to be doing a million things on my days off, but I'm not sure there is any alternative. I have so much sympathy for people with long commutes and full or more than full-time jobs. On my work days, I'm out the door at 6:30 and - ideally - leaving work at 5:15-5:30. By the time I pick up my kids and we're home, it's an hour later. We eat whatever I've got in the crockpot and are doing bedtime stuff by 7:15. A and I are coming back downstairs to pick up, pack lunches, etc by 8. I am in bed by 9 or 9:30 to get up at 5:30 the next day. There isn't a lot of extra time.

We had a great Saturday yesterday even though I was on call and was called in to place an internal defibrillator. I went to my step aerobics class and A went for a run when I got home. Just before 11, I went into work, but was home by 1:30 (two hours of overtime pay! Thank you!). A took E out for lunch and frozen yogurt while L and I put away laundry, cleaned the fish tank, and baked cookies. In the evening, we popped popcorn and watched The Gruffalo and a few more episodes of The Cosby Show (I think we're on season 3). We finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and I don't THINK my kids are sociopaths, but no one was as sad as I thought they should be at the end of the book. Seriously, I BAWLED.

I am thinking days and evenings like this need to be put on hold if we're going to do home improvement stuff and get our house on the market. I'm such a glutton, though, and I don't WANT to give up relaxation time. I want MORE relaxation time. Sigh. 

Vacation

Our school had vacation this week, so A and I took time off from work and we took the kids to an indoor waterpark. It's our fourth consecutive year, so we get the big room, late checkout, and a courtesy box of goodies. E and L have been old enough for the past two years that we've let them play on their own with regular check-ins. It was all fine - A even caught E being kind to a little kid when she didn't know he was watching her - until the end. We did the normal thing of finding everyone and telling them that we were going to leave in the next thirty minutes. C was tired and wanted to curl up on my lap. L headed for the hot tub. And then we spent the next twenty minutes - increasing in franticness - looking for E. 

It's not a huge facility and between the two of us, we searched each area at least a half dozen times in that twenty minutes. Finally, after he had climbed to the top of the slides and the fort, I said, "We need help." You guys. That's scary. I knew she hadn't drowned because those life guards are like caged panthers pacing back and forth constantly. I also knew that the most likely scenario was that we had missed her somehow, but with both of us looking for twenty minutes, I was - deep down - scared she had been taken. I KNOW that statistics are not in favor of kidnapping - it rarely happens - but where else could she be?

I reported her missing. The lifeguard took her description (I HAD TO DESCRIBE MY CHILD. BECAUSE SHE WAS MISSING) and sent people out to look for her. In the meantime, I eyed the doors and asked if he was going to stop people from leaving until she was found. He said, apologetically, that they only do that if they call a Code Pink and then management has to get involved and everyone searches. I had a moment - just a moment - of thinking, "Oh, I don't want to be any trouble" and then I thought, "What if she HAS been abducted and I hold back a search out of POLITENESS? How could I ever forgive myself?" The answer was: I couldn't. So I said, "Yes. That's exactly what I'm looking for. Please do that." And he did.

We found her within ten minutes. She was floating in the lazy river, happy as a clam. It was too bad, really, because then I squeezed her to death and smothered her with kisses. Seems a waste, doesn't it? It was over an hour before my adrenaline subsided and I still get nauseous when I think about parents who go through that for a much longer period of time and with a different outcome. I am proud of myself for advocating for a Code Pink even though it turned out to be unnecessary. I would make the same decision again.

The rest of our stay was much less dramatic. They had air quality issues on our second morning (a outdoor vent had been blocked with snow) and gave away buckets of free tokens in the arcade until it was fixed. Our children played games for hours (free!) and won more than 2000 tickets. They pooled their tickets and now we're the "proud" owners of an LED light that says "Peace."

E and L spent a lot of time with groups of other kids. It makes me happysad to see. C still wanted to hang out with us and E and L would return occasionally to ask us to watch them on the lily pads or ride a double tube down the slide with them, but they were much more interested in making friends.

Earlier this week, my FIL emailed to see if we wanted to send the girls to their house for a sleepover and you bet we did. I dropped them off yesterday so A and I could go out to dinner (hampered for a short period by a flat tire that A manfully changed in the cold and snow) and see Django Unchanged. This morning he ran a 5K and then we saw Lincoln and went out for sushi. I've only had sushi one other time, but this was a place recommended by a coworker. I loved it. I don't love the texture of raw fish, so I stuck to cooked stuff - shrimp and cucumber roll, a roll with crab salad and something crunchy - and a glass of sake.

Braiding

I did a 5 strand braid in L's hair yesterday: 

It turned out well, didn't it? I used this video and it was a lot easier than I thought. I attempted a waterfall braid in E's hair today and was successful! God bless You Tube videos and all those lovely creative people who make tutorials. I have no natural hair talent.

It's 8:30 pm when I'm writing this and I am totally exhausted. I took an awesome strength class today where we did sets of 12 and kept adding on. So we did 12 squats and then 12 lunges on each leg. Then we did 12 squats, 12 lunges on each side, and then 12 chest presses. Then we did squats, lunges, chest presses, dead lifts. And on and on until we were doing squats, lunges, chest presses, dead lifts, overhead triceps, a squat with a bicep overhead extension, a shoulder thing where your arms make a W and lift overhead to an O, a modified burpee, and a couple others I'm forgetting. It fools you because you think, "Oh! Just 12! No biggie!" and you use heavy weights and a heavy bar and work hard and then you are going through the cycle for the eighth time and she's still adding stuff and it's brutal. I stayed for step class afterward and I could tell my legs were already exhausted. It was a seriously great workout.

I went grocery shopping after the Y, unpacked the groceries, and then made all the food in the entire world ever. I made bacon and waffles and these went into the freezer for Wednesday night brinner. Then I made black bean soup for tomorrow. I made mashed sweet potatoes for my lunches this week and butter chicken and rice for dinner tonight. I made school lunches and snacks for tomorrow and then I cleaned everything up. (<--cleaning up is the worst)

I picked the girls up from school and we conquered multiplying double digit numbers. E slowly worked her way through a worksheet and I could tell she was frustrated. Part of it was her saying angrily, "I am SO FRUSTRATED," and part of it was her quiet sobs. I offered help, but she kept plugging away. I gave her a cookie (FOOD IS LOVE) and told her how my mom used to "accidentally" break a cookie and then say, "Oh my! We can't serve this to a guest! I guess I'll have to eat it myself! It's a sacrifice I'll make."

When she finished the worksheet I checked her answers and she got ONE right. ONE. Out of twelve. Her sobs increased. We took a break and ate dinner before tackling it again. This time I wrote out the problems on a new sheet of paper (the erasing and rewriting! How can I see anything?) and had her talk her way through the problems so I could hear her reasoning, like "Okay, four times six is twenty-four, put the four down, carry the two . . ." It became obvious almost immediately that she was occasionally multiplying when she should have added (and vice versa) and/or forgetting that extra zero in the second line. Her answers had all been really close to correct, so I figured it would be something fixable. She cheered up when she was allowed to double check herself with the calculator and I heaped praise upon her for her perseverance and excellent attitude despite her discouragement. 

I think she's hit a maturity growth spurt, because I've heard her staying calm while fighting with L and saying things like, "L. You just hit me with a ball. Who wants to play with someone who does that?" and "I'm very frustrated because I asked C not to color in this area and she has." Thumbs up.

Red Dreams

My twitter feed is full of people who are thrilled to send their kids back to school and complained regularly about the hell that is school vacations. I can't relate. I'm glad to get back into our regular routine - it's a pain to figure out childcare when they're on vacation and I'm still working - but it's fun having them home and it was such a treat to have A on vacation for a large part, too. 

Last night at dinner, E lamented going back to school, "It was so fun to play video games all day!" I gave her a stern look and made her name five things we did that were not video games. I have visions of her talking about vacation and telling people all we did was sit in front of the TV. After she reached five, L and C helped. We came up with:

sledding, going to friend's houses, feeding chickens, roller skating, learning to knit, Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa's house, Christmas Day here with presents, building a snowman, watching movies and eating popcorn, swimming at the Y, reading a ton of books (almost done with The Order of the Phoenix!), and baking cookies.

Hopefully she'll mention one or two of those other things in addition to playing video games. Sheesh.

I finished my first knitting project and it is . . . a big uneven piece of material with extra stitches added regularly! Oops. I did some internet research to figure out how I'm accidentally adding stitches and my second project is coming along in a more orderly fashion.

I'm going to finish this one and then make another hot pad, attempting to alternate knit stitches and purl stitches. Maybe I'll use a different color. I'm seeing red in my sleep.

L is more enthusiastic than E, but they are both knitting. L has the same problem of adding on stitches that I do, so I showed her how to cast off and told her I'd helped her start a new one. When I came back, she had cast on all by herself and was already on her fourth row of stitches.

If you have any ideas for a second beginner project after we finish our hot pad(s), please advise!

Edited to add: Christine's comment makes me think that I need to clarify that a hot pad is what you set a warm dish on so that you don't scorch the table. An oven mitt is what you use to actually handle the dish. I realize my precious knitting would not protect me from heat.