Things We Don't Do

C doesn't usually nap anymore (maybe 1-2 times per week), but on Fridays she has to nap so that I can nap before work. I used to lecture her on what NOT to do while I'm sleeping: do not leave your room except to pee, do not open any windows, do not do not do not do not. One day I reversed it and we made it a fun game. Now I give her a list of things to do during naptime and she happily corrects me.

"While I'm sleeping, you should take all your clothes out of the closet and spread them all over the floor!" "NO!"

"While I'm sleeping, you should go downstairs, unlock the front door, and go play in the street!" "NOOO!"

"While I'm sleeping, you should jump off the top bunk!" "NOOOOOO!"

It started as things I honestly worried she would do, but it's devolved into silliness. 

"While I'm sleeping, you should find some scissors and cut Roland's tail off!"

"While I'm sleeping, you should eat all of E and L's earrings!"

"While I'm sleeping, you should come wake me up because you're bored!"

Sometimes I try to throw her off, like "If you puke while I'm sleeping, you should NOT wake me up!" or "While I'm sleeping, you're not allowed to read ANY books!" She requests this game all the time and adds her own suggestions. It makes me feel better because I feel like she has a firm grasp on what is/isn't allowed if she wakes up before I do.

I do this a lot with E and L. "If you don't like something Grandma serves you at dinner, you should yell 'GROSS!' and make puking noises!" They love to be horrified at the thought of such rudeness and then tell me what the correct response is. The more outrageous I am, the better. "If your friend won't share with you, you should kick her really hard in the leg, steal her toy, and run away!" was a favorite when they were younger.

Another fun game C and I play is more recent. We were snuggled together watching the first Harry Potter movie and around the Norbert the Dragon part, I stroked her hair and whispered, "Oh C, my baby dragon." She disagreed, "I'm not a baby! Or a dragon!" and I grabbed her face, pulled it close to mine, and said incredulously, "WHAT?!" Now we do it regularly and also the opposite. 

Her: Oh Mama, my baby dragon!

Me: I'm not a a baby! Or a dragon!

Her, grabbing my cheeks: WHAT?

It is so silly and fun. 

 A long time ago, we bought No Stress Chess and sometimes L and A would play it. She has graduated to playing regular chess now and E has, too. After school yesterday, L said, "E! Let's hurry and do our homework so we can play chess!" I don't know if anything has made A so proud - they even used his Simpsons chessboard. He was seven when his dad taught him to play chess and he's eager to teach our kids. I think Wizard's Chess from Harry Potter helped, too.

I don't know how to play chess - would you like to know why? Many years ago, when A and I were first dating, he was going to teach me. He summed up the pieces and their moves and while I fretted about going first (I hate going first), he casually commented, "It doesn't matter what you do. I'll probably beat you in three moves anyway."

I stopped playing IMMEDIATELY and have never played since. I maintain that I don't want to learn from such a snotty teacher. He swears there is a special set of moves that lets you win in three turns and that's all he wanted to show me before starting again. He swears! Whatever - it's become a running joke between us. That comment activated my Stubborn-As-Hell gene and it has never been reset. I'm going to have to get over it, though, because I want to be involved in our nerdy family chess games.

I flagged this Butternut Squash Mac-n-Cheese with Caramalized Onions, Bacon, and Apple forever ago. I planned to make it for myself, the sole squash lover in our family. I thought if it was appealing enough, I would force it onto my family. I did like it, but I don't think I'll convince the family.

I couldn't find canned pureed squash, so I used frozen. I doubled the caramelized onions and braced myself when I tasted it because it LOOKED like a cheesy sauce on pasta, but I KNEW it was squash. It wasn't super squashy, though, and it tasted delicious. The squash makes it a bizarrely bright orange color - it was hard to get used to. I made it according to the recipe and let it sit for a few minutes on a warm burner to let the flavors meld while I washed the dishes. Even after that, it was only lukewarm and I ended up nuking it. I like my hot food hot. 

Comments

[Christine]

I don't think I've ever seen canned squash except for pumpkin. I'm intrigued by the apple in that recipe, though. Obviously, it all goes wrong at "bacon."

Ages ago, Paul and I were playing hangman and I gave him "QI," the energy flow through the body, pronounced chi. Paul missed it and got really mad and said it wasn't a word. So the next word I gave him was "QITER," pronounced chi-ter. We don't play hangman anymore. He's a sore loser.

[Liz S]

I used to have to do that with my older son- "Don't brush your teeth before bed! We absolutely don't want that to happen!" My husband would get all concerned that he wasn't going to know right from wrong. Whatever, it was fun and it worked. My sister and I also used to also tell him "bad morning" instead of good night.

The recipe looks great, but I too am a lone squash lover in the family- actually, I guess Keegan will eat it. Maybe we should try it.

[karen]

I do that all the time too - "When we're at Grandma's house, make sure to burp really loudly at the table...." It's hilarious how much kids like that game.

Would you like me to teach you to play chess? That way you don't have to back down from your declaration to not let A teach you. :)

[Andrea]

we play a similar game thanks to a song "I Think I'm a Bunny" (you're not a bunny, you're a monster, monster, MONSTER - ok done cyber-singing!). I think the silliness helps the rules stick!

[Becky]

It's been awhile since I've read your blog, so I thought I'd check in. And I am totally stealing your game for what you should/should not do... telling my 3 girls (now 8, 3, and 1) what TO do is just not getting through to them. Kudos to you for letting humor win the day.

[swimmermom]

I never learned to play chess either, despite being a math-y person. Glad to know I'm not alone. I want to be able to play with my kids, too, so it's time to learn! That no-stress chess game looks like just the thing!