The Onion Meme

I've seen this a couple places and it is embarrassingly juvenile.  I couldn't resist.

LAYER ONE:
– Name: Linda IndigoGirl

– Birth date:  November 1976
– Birthplace:  The same hospital at which I currently work.
– Current Location: That same hospital!  I don't get around much.  At least I'm on a different floor.

– Eye Color: Blue.
– Hair Color: Brown.  Maybe light brown?
– Height: 5'10"

– Righty or Lefty: Lefty, baby.

– Zodiac Sign: Um, Sagittarius?

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LAYER TWO:
– Your heritage: 25% Swedish, 25% German, 25% Finnish, 12.5% English, 12.5% French.

– The shoes you wore today: Birki Clogs.
– Your weakness: Sarcasm and broad shoulders.

– Your fears: Good Lord, a zillion.  Making small talk while having something in my teeth, leaving my kids with a perfect babysitter only to find out they're a child molester, freezing up during a code to name a few.

– Your perfect pizza: pepperoni and garlic.  Thin crust, but not crispy-thin.

– Goal you'd like to achieve: Having a welcoming home, one where my kids' friends feel free to hang out, even if my kids aren't there.  I remember my brother's friends stopping by to visit with my mom and eat her cookies.  I want to be that mom.

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LAYER THREE:
– Your most overused phrase on Text messaging: Oh you kids and your "text messaging."  I'm too old to do that.
– Your first waking thoughts: "Fuck.  I hate the morning."

– Your best physical feature: My nose.  It's pert, not too big, not too small, and gets covered with a light smattering of freckles when I'm out in the sun.  It holds up my glasses real nice, too.
– Your most missed memory: I'm not sure what this means.  My favorite memory? The memory I misplace most often?

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LAYER FOUR:
– Pepsi or Coke: Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi.
– McDonald's or Burger King: Ug to both.  But I guess McDonald's for their hot fudge sundaes with nuts and extra hot fudge.
– Single or group dates: Single.  I'm much better one-on-one.  I tend to babble if there's an audience.  And it's easier to flirt without watching someone else roll their eyes.
– Adidas or Nike: Does Adidas have the stripes?  I like the stripes.
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Iced tea is gross.  Hot tea with lots of milk and sugar is yummy.
– Chocolate or vanilla: Duh.  Chocolate.  With chocolate sauce and extra chocolaty-ness.

– Cappuccino or coffee: Non-fat vanilla latte.

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LAYER FIVE:
– Smoke: A few times, mostly when drinking and wanting to be cool.  Surprise!  It didn't work.
– Cuss:  Yeppers.
– Sing: I was in chorale in jr. high and high school.  Even solo-ed a few times. 
– Take a shower everyday: Sadly, my personal hygiene is lacking on Mondays and Saturdays.  After I work all night and sleep for a few hours, it seems silly to shower at 2 pm when I'll just have to shower again the next morning at 7:30.  Let's say I'm a conservationist and not just a dirty hippie, okay?
– Do you think you've been in love: Yes, several times.
– Want to go to college: I have my BSN, but I was back in school for a BA in Spanish when I got pregnant.  I still think about doing that.  Maybe when E and L are in school themselves.
– Liked high school: I loved the school part of high school and most of the boy social parts.  Not so much with the girl friends.
– Want to get married: Yes, that'd be nice.

– Believe in yourself: Hell, yeah.  I can do anything I want.  It's very cool how when I conquer the crap life throws at me, the more confident and comfortable I become.  (That sentence brought to you by the letter C.)
– Get motion sickness: Sometimes, if I eat a lot of junk on road trips.
– Think you're attractive: Typically I'd say yes, when I make the effort.  Recently, though, I found a picture of myself at 16.  I was dressed for a Homecoming Dance.  There I was: 5'10", 130 lbs, and boobs to kill all poured into a tight, black dress.  So do I think I'm attractive now?  Not after seeing that picture!
– Think you're a health freak: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
– Get along with your parent(s): Sigh.  That's sad.  Yes, I got along great with my mom, but my dad hasn't spoken to me in 8 years.  So no on that account.
– Like thunderstorms: Yeah, especially summer ones when it's all humid.
– Play an instrument: 3 years of piano lessons.  And we learned the recorder in 3rd grade.

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LAYER SIX: In the past month…
– Drank alcohol: Yup.  Just ordered a crate from wine.com to replace everything I've drunk.
– Smoked: Nope.
– Done a drug: Like Motrin?
– Made Out: *snicker*  Of course.
– Gone on a date: We went out to dinner, courtesy of some first-computer-now-real-life friends and then saw A Prairie Home Companion.  I knew Garrison Keiller was a dog, but ouch!  Still, an excellent movie.
– Gone to the mall?: I'll go anywhere there's a kid's play area and a Starbucks.
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Sadly, no.  I would love to try, though.
– Eaten sushi: Do you know I've never eaten sushi?  I have the names of several reputable places in town and I'm willing to give it whirl.  It just never happens.
– Been on stage: No, but I did watch part of a tape from a high school play.  Talk about humiliating.
– Been dumped: Yeah, I gotta get a new boyfriend.  I mean, no, I'm happily married.
– Gone skating: Skating?  Really?  People still do that?
– Made homemade cookies: Yes.  And then got frustrated that they go stale so quickly.  I mean, I'm willing to eat an entire batch of cookies in 3 days, but I don't want to have to.
– Gone skinny dipping: I took a bath.  Does that count?
– Dyed your hair: No.  I did in high school and I will some day when I'm old and gray, but it's too high-maintenance right now.
– Stolen Anything: Not intentionally and only boyfriends.

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LAYER SEVEN: Ever…
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: Affirmative.
– If so, was it mixed company: Yes.  It's more fun that way.
– Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes.
– Been caught "doing something": I assume this is asking if I've been caught in a compromising position or with my pants down, so to speak, but I find it an adorably adolescent way to ask.  To answer the question, yes, I've been caught "doing something."
– Been called a tease: My husband likes to fondly reminisce about what a tease I was in high school.
– Gotten beaten up: When I worked at the nursing home as a nurse's aide.  Those tiny old ladies are strong and fast.  Plus, they fight dirty.
– Shoplifted: Nope.  I've often wondered if I could.  Do you think they'd let me do a trial run?
– Changed who you were to fit in: Sadly, yes.

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LAYER EIGHT:
– Age you hope to be married: The rest of my life.
– Numbers and Names of Children: 2 right now, hoping for 3 maybe?  Still kinda ambivalent on that point.  If we had a girl, probably Kate.  For a boy, we have a mile long list.
– Describe your Dream Wedding: Eloping to someplace warm and getting married on the beach or in a small chapel with only a handful of family members there.

– How do you want to die: For a long time I wanted to die from a fall, but now I think I'll take the generic "from old age, in my sleep."
– Where you want to go to college: I probably wouldn't change anything, because I did like my college time and I was close enough to visit A on weekends, but part of me wishes I had gone someplace warm and exotic, like the U of Hawaii.
– What do you want to be when you grow up: Satisfied.
– What country would you most like to visit: Dude, that's impossible.  I want to visit everywhere and I want to go back to the places I've already been.  But for now: Greece or Italy.  My SIL just spent a few weeks in Tuscany.  They drove there.  How unfair is that?

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LAYER NINE:
– Number of drugs taken illegally: You mean like the Ambien I took from my mom's bathroom?

– Number of people I could trust with my life:  A surprising number once I stopped to think about it.  Now I have warm fuzzies.  A more important number is the number of people I could trust with my kids' lives.
– Number of CDs that I own:  I don't know.  A has kidnapped them and is threatening to hook our stereo up to the computer.  Big hat, no cattle, my boy.
– Number of piercings: 5
– Number of tattoos: 1
– Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Hmmm. It was just in there for my mom's obituary and I think there was a time in high school for something, but I swear I was innocent.
– Number of scars on my body: A lot.  I'm pretty clumsy and I get into a lot of knife fights.
– Number of things in my past that I regret: Most of my regrets involve me opening my mouth when I should have just shut up.  Unfortunately, there's a lot of those.

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EXTRA STUFF

Lived: responsibly.  That sounds boring, doesn't it?
Current addiction: Nature Valley peanut granola bars.  Sweet and salty!
Music: Acoustic rock.
Favorite TV shows: You know, I've watched a couple episodes of House recently and that's pretty damn good. Hugh Laurie is super hunky with all his scruffy sarcasm.  I also like Lost and Scrubs.
Favorite Movies: I think I told you this recently.
Favorite Actors: Denzel, Vince Vaughn, the guy with the facial hair from The 40 Year Old Virgin.
Favorite Actresses: Frances McDormand, Catherine Keener, Cate Blanchett.
Favorite Sport:  I hate sports.  But I do watch the Pistons when they're on.

That was fun and long!  Now you do it, okay?  Together we can schnocker the world and then practice shoplifting while they're sleeping.

Comments

[Leah]

Too cute! I suck at memes - I just get all wishy washy. Is it REALLY my favorite? I mean REALLY? :)

[cass]

Reading some of these questions made me feel old. Like when people used to give those "purity tests". (e.g. Have you ever... kissed? Made it to second base? Had an alcoholic drink? etc etc... Oh the memories!) And yet, it's kinda nostalgic. :)

[Jenn in AK]

Nature Valley Peanut Granola Bars? Dude, I gotta find these! Those sound soooo good. I'm either PMSing or I'm pregnant...guess I'll know by the end of the week. I'm wanting to eat anything mentioned to me, though!

My name was in the paper a few times and that one time...yes, I was guilty!

Jenn

[-Blue]

Ah hah! Evil Genius Husband was talking about you and this Meme! Jeez ... now *I* gotta do it. ;)

-Blue

[meg]

I played. Fun.